BORROWING FROM THE MYSTERIOUS BABU OWINO.

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Paul Ongili alias Babu Owino is no new name in the ears of many Kenyans.From a humble background back at Kisumu to a national figure that is an headache to the government of the day is not enough to describe his person.Lining up achievements after another,an aspiring Babu Owino would ask how?Well,his aggressiveness speaks it most but we ought to be more specific on how to be Babu Owino,from campus to Parliament. In this column I give you three key steps explaining the same.Feel free to drop your comments at the end of the column;Kenya went to the ballot on the 8th Of August 2017 and among those elected was former UoN Students Organisation of Nairobi University boss – the indefatigably incorrigible – Babu Owino.

Following his election into parliament as MP for Nairobi’s Embakasi East, most university students (especially those interested in politics) have begun looking for ways on how to follow his footsteps.


Lesson 1Arm yourself with a lot of extra, big-sounding English words that may or may not be grammatically correct, and may or may not make sense to the matter at hand.
When speaking to the people and, for instance, you want to say a word as simple as ‘surprised’, instead, go ahead and add on, “perplexed, flabbergasted, dumbfounded, discombobulated, abashed, flummoxed, bollixed, nonplussed.”
Memorise these synonyms and randomly throw them in conversations, or save them for the day you’ll be called to appear on TV and toss them all over the place to either seem smart and well-schooled, or just for the hell of it. You know, because you can.


Lesson 2

Have a bunch of online goats to make sure your name is always on every campus student’s lips.
They should be cheap people with nothing going on in their personal lives; people who will be comfortable with anything between Sh110 to Sh527.
And, for that amount, they will shout your name atop all mountain hills and make sure that every university student in Kenya knows your name.
Let them take pictures of you in restaurants and say how you bought lunches for everyone within.Let them take pictures of you in police stations and say how you slapped the OCS for disrespecting your ‘comrades’; let them take pictures of you with the President and say how you were loaning him money because he – the President – was broke.

Lesson 3 


Vie for student office. Do everything in your power to make sure you win. Once you do, never get out of that seat.
I repeat, thou shall not get out of that seat. At whatever cost. Make news headlines by making outrageous remarks or issue strange threats like when Babu threatened to unleash all campus guys to pee on a tree then US president had planted when he visited Nairobi if Higher Education Loans Board delays to disburse funds on time.
That’s all it takes, gentlemen. Just that. Follow these very simple steps and one day, just one day, you’ll also find yourself in the corridors of parliament.
Watch out for my next interesting peace.
Tibim!!!

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